The Opposing Relationship
February 4, 2007 @ 7:50 pm
A few months back I was having lunch at the UT Arlington campus. BJ and I were a few months away from hitting a year.
Anyways, while at lunch I found out that one of my friends were in a “open relationship.” Knowing my friend, I knew he didn’t want a open, but rather a closed relationship. I kinda said “that’s weird” out loud. In response, his partner asked me what was so weird about it and told me that I’m still too young to know what I want in a relationship, and that i’m in lust, not love. Is it just me or is the guy crazy?!?! Should a person in a open relationship really be giving me any advice?
8 views
May 7th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
HAHAHA No! The only thing that this guy was trying to do was justify his position on doing something that he ‘KNOWS’ is wrong. Wrong for him to do to his partner (whom he ‘claims’ to love) and wrong to risk harming either or both himself and his partner with exposing them to potential increased health risks. He basically wants his cake and eat it too and OBVIOUSLY isn’t interested in ACTUALLY loving his mate. I don’t think you’re too young to know what you want I think he’s just too selfish and is using your friend’s love for him to do something that you already know your friend doesn’t want and it’s probably killing him inside. To me, what this guy has done is ended their relationship. How can you say, “Yeah I love you but I’m gonna have sex with other people. Your good but not good enough.” How horrible! Why would you drag someone’s heart through the mud like that and claim to be in a relationship. I’m appalled by this asshole’s cheap attempt at excusing his sin against love. I feel terrible for your friend and I know what it’s like to have some real creep say that to you when you believe everything is going fine. It’s better to just get the shit over with and say, “I’m ending this because I want to be free of our commitment and be with other people.” Harsh to ever hear but I think the quicker and more efficiently you get something like that over with the more merciful it is to the recipient of that ugly news so that they can heal that much faster from the heart ache. I wish your friend all the best and that he won’t have too much trouble getting over this jerk. All my best.
Charlie
May 7th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Are they still together? If they are’t then they were just lusting and you two are the ones in love!
May 7th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
open relationship??? thats nasty!!! lol i dunno how people can allow there partners to do that i would be so disgusted and would leave that boy in a sec! and no he shouldnt give advice to u! wtf fuck does he know? hes not even taking his relationship seriously!
-eLmO
May 7th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Answer to your question…
No, lol.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Haha we talked about this… all I have to say is nigga please :-)
LoL
You know what’s right in your heart hon
*huGs*
Sounds like that other person is jealous and doesn’t really know very much about true love… whether he thinks so or not.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
OK so it sounds to me like you and your friends are just being judgemental. An open relationship is still a relationship just the same. If your friend didn’t want to be in the relationship with the boundaries that were set then he shouldn’t have agreed to be in it. But that’s just what it sounds like to me. And to Mr. Charlie I don’t recall there ever being anything in the blog about them saying that they were in love. An open relationship doesn’t always mean that you are going to be screwing every single person that you meet. Myself personally don’t do the open relationship thing unless I have JUST met somebody and I’m not ready to commit myself to them. So what’s wrong with making sure that you wanna date this person and this person only? I don’t see what the big deal is. I do see a big deal in judging him because he just wasn’t sure. It may very well be that both parties didnt’ feel the same, and maybe your friend should consider a few things the next time he claims to be in love.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Point taken…
but I do believe your confusing “dating” with “relationship”
May 7th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Judgmental? Now now children, we need not be so hasty in being labelers, ‘lest we look look “judgmental” ourselves lol :p
May 7th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Okay, I am rather satisfied with consensus of a good understanding in my initial response here; I just wanted to include an additional response, as there seems to be an opposition to my original, and heart felt, response and ideal.
I fully understand where “anonymous” has made the point of (if there are no boundaries set from the very beginning - SHAME on the one who gets hurt)… yes, I get that. :)
Understood. Been there, done that, own the T-shirt as a matter of fact, recently and it hurts like hell.
However, where would ‘anyone’ get off in taking advantage of another ‘truly convinced and loving soul’ (in the way of a seemingly intimate and monogamous relationship) in the wake of the “so defined” - open relationship? Just because LOVE doesn’t work for a select few doesn’t mean the world sucks!!! (To anyone that thinks so, “The world doesn’t SUCK we have 6 Billion+ opportunities to make it happen!”)
(Now, Trace, please, correct me if I am wrong, but as you described this situation, (and gurl, yes you are the ring master here cuz you brought this lil’ zitiation out on upon us!), … ;)
You are having lunch with two peeps that are ’seemingly’ a “couple” in love with one another (proper as you are with BJ), … am I correct? - Pure and simple, just two souls in love…)
I think I have answered ‘your’ question Tracey, but as to the ‘challenge’, I felt a need to answer, YET AGAIN. I think you were pretty clear at the situation. These two haven’t just met each other last week; this is a bit more than a morning/afternoon after over mimosas a the bar or on the sun porch.
Charlie