The best advice I’ve received

AXC: i do worry a great deal about you Tracy
AXC: mainly because
AXC: i know how much BJ has done for you
AXC: I think honestly
AXC: all this apathy
AXC: is the result of the stress that came on from worrying about breaking up
AXC: you’re mind won’t allow itself to idly watch your self-image get shattered
AXC: instead
AXC: it’s pushing him away
AXC: so that way
AXC: it will ease the pain of his absence
AXC: should that day ever arise
AXC: rather than be haunted by the number of days left
AXC: do all you can with him
AXC: make sure that years from now, you won’t feel you wasted time
AXC: he’s a very special boy, and I know you think the world of him
AXC: don’t let it pass you by

Start of Spring Break

Unfortunately, unlike normal college students I don’t get a “i’m going on vacation” spring break. I get to work. The start of my break however, officially began, Sunday at S4’s lil bash. It was freakin awsome and I had so much fun! It was nice seeing everyone SMILING again and there wasn’t any drama that i noticed. Well, except for that one black lesbian girl who tried to threat me. The fun part was also bringing an old high school friend with me to the club, who barely came out of the closet, to me anyways, during the week. I can’t say who he is yet, but I got a free shirt and tie from him :-D woot! On Monday our family was gathered at the hospital. My cuzin nancy had her baby! He was born at 6:45pm and weighed 6lbs. 12oz. Ladies and gentleman, I would like to introduce you to Nathan Sidaphay.

Prom 2007

Hehe, i’m re-living highschool again. I’m going with BJ to his prom. The only difference between his prom and my prom how ever is that i’m not going to it with a lesbian :-D What color should BJ and I wear?

Bye Bye Love Birds?

Ok, i’ve been kind of keeping this to myself, but it’s gotten to the point where it’s all bottled up inside and I just have to let it out before I break down.

In a couple of months, my life will entirely change. I will either be greatfully living with BJ somewhere in the DFW metroplex, or BJ and I will be broken up, if he decides to go to a school outside of normal “dating range.” The thing that is bothering me is the likely outcome. Knowing BJ and his intelligence, he’ll more than likely go for a school that will help better himself for his future and life which i totally agree with. The feeling I am left with however, is that I feel like i’m dating under a time limit and my time is going to be over really quick when july hits. I just don’t know if it will be for the best, or worst, I mean who does? Will I find someone comparable to BJ or better? Will BJ find someone to replace my shoes? If we break up because of this reason will I ever be comfortable seeing BJ with another guy? Or will I even be comfortable dating another guy because of this reason? If anyone has gone through this or want to share your insights please comment.